Strange

Strange place this is.

I mean, all the pain we go through when we go through a medical procedure. I have been through many in the past year and I am fine not to go through one in the next few years. But really. What is this all about?

This was actually a question I had a while back, and then I realized something. Yesterday, when I was purchasing a drink and a snack for the afternoon, so I can keep my sugars regulated (I love Diabetes don't you?), I was asked a question at the check out. Yeah, it was one of those "money for the cause" bits, but the "cause" was for research on treating Juvenile Diabetes. I know that it can't help me any more, but for those who are in this world or those who will be in this world I can help them out with a bit of pocket change.

This got me to thinking about a few things regarding pain. I then read on a friend's facebook site that he is leaving an area that has been his home for many years and is moving to a new country for work. I know many of the feelings he is going through, but there are many feelings I cannot know, as he has known and seen more in that place than I ever did. Leaving is painful. Medical procedures are painful. My wife has shown me twice that child birth is painful. I've been around enough to know that death is painful, for both the one who is dieing and the ones that are watching and being left behind. We come into the world through pain and leave it in pain. OK... well most of us. Still, pain provides us with some of our strongest memories.

Perhaps some of the most important sign posts in our life are about a pain. Change is painful.

Knowing God is painful.

There are many that know God and experience pain because of it. Some are killed, others hurt in ways that the most grotesque film cannot replicate. There are a few that are "Safe" for their knowledge of God and stay in a very quiet, closed bubble, where there is little pain from knowing God.

Stepping out of the bubble of this set is hard and painful. Learning to get quiet enough to hear the voice of God is painful for most. Doing what God asks is painful for many.

Why do we do it?

Perhaps it is knowing what Christ has done for us. The pain that was endured though the betrayal. The pain that was endured through scourging. The pain that was endured through the trial. The pain that was endured through the denial. The pain that was endured through the thorns. The pain that was endured through walking through the streets with a heavy mass of wood with wounds that had barely had time to begin to heal all over his body. The pain of having to watch another lift and carry it for him. The pain of getting nails pounded through his flesh as he was posted onto the wood. Then having nothing more than those nails holding him on , the pain of having that wood lifted and dropped into place to then hang from the nails and nothing more. The pain of trying to breath in that state. The pain of dieing and taking on the sin of the world (that which was and was yet to come).

Is it because of his pain that we do what we do?
Partially.

Because it does not stop there. He rose from the grave. He gave hope, peace and a freedom that no one can take away. A family that spans the globe. Where we must be adopted into rather than born into. And we are the ones who make the choice to join in that family.

It was out of Love for all humans that Christ did what he did.
It is in this Love that we are asked to do what we do.
It is out of this Love that we do what we do.

Anticipation of Pain

Thinking of the chair.

You know which one I'm talking about. The one that I hadn't seen in 10 years.
Finally sat back down in it and found I was going to go through a world of hurt...

...in stages.
-"Ok today we will only do this much, then next time we will do this, and by that time we will have those removed, and then we will go through a simple procedure that takes two visits called ROOT PLANING!! "

+"Oh that sounds like so much fun. Is this line here where I sign up??? "

-"Yes, that is where you authori-- sign up. Thank you."

Day before:

-on the phone "This is just a confirmation call that you will be stuck in our chair with your mouth open and we will be using sharp iron-age instruments on your teeth. And a high powered drill. Do you confirm that you will be there? if not we will charge you instead of your insurance."

+"Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. With much joy and excitement!"


*This is a rant over the anticipation of the coming visit to the dentist's chair.

And now re-emerging from the outside world of spinning craziness

Here is an update for anyone who is reading this at this point.

In the past year and a half I have been holding numerous jobs. Two of which were"permanent" positions. One I am currently in and am happy in. I don't know many who can say that about their jobs. But I am happy where I am right now. It suits my life style and gives me the flexibility that I need. My compensation is not extremely high, but I am not suffering. I am comfortable at the moment.

Oh, taxes. I sent them in. Trying to match up all those W-2 forms. When you work for number of companies in one year they all have to send you something. It is not fun. But then again, hey, what should I expect if I do my own taxes, eh?

Well, the "storms" of my last post came and went. I missed that round. I got out before the next round and moved to another company. That did not go so well, and I ended up back at the other company at a much higher rate of pay. Which was nice. But 6 weeks later they nearly closed the department in this country. So guess who was one that was let go this time... yep. I roamed around looking for more work anywhere. And the nice little recession they had going on here wasn't helping. It took me nearly 6 months to find work. So if I wasn't out here now you know why. All this was happening and I was in school. Oh and last February, we had another kid. So, I wasn't really all that busy, nor did I have my hands full. Oh, wait I did..

hmmm.

Ok then. Perhaps things will go better in this next year or so... I hope. I'm supposed to graduate soon. (not this year).

Two Months Later

Once again I find myself watching the day slip away. It is not that I don't have things to do, it is just that i am waiting for things to finish.

The weather is hot and humid and rather heavy. Thunderstorms are expected in the area... both outside and in the office. The latter are not expected until next week, but that is still speculation. I'm sure that I'm safe this round, as it seems to be hitting those who are above me. That will make 6 or 7 changes this year. Talk about churn.

Anyway, going to school full time and working full time and raising a family is not easy . I'm glad that I have someone to help or it would be maddening.( A plug for the glory that is my wife). Ok. She does more to raise the family than I, as she takes care of the kids most of the day and runs the house . She is amazing. I must prepare for a final and get two projects done that are beginning to press for time. Oh joy.

End of the Second Week

Everyone is gone.

They are at lunch.

The quiet allows me to think of where I am. I'm back at an old position. The difference is "clout". I have been given higher responsibility and projects that are more demanding. This is good for me as I enjoy a good challenge.

I have been here for about 2 weeks now and I'm actually enjoying being back. I didn't know if I would...

Time to think on things outside of work.

Like the wonderview of the green wold outside my window.
I am glad they put me on the top floor near the windows. I look out and watch the clouds and se for miles. Other than a few tops of houses only the many water towers give reference to distance.

This is a joy/perk to working here. I don't mind the aggrevations that come up when I can take a breath of stale air and look upon the land that has not been "developed" and de-natured.

I know that when the storms come thorough this is the best view.

Starting tomorrow I know that I will be busy. School starts up again and I'm working more than full time and going to school full time. This is going to be fun.

I guess I'm going to add my school to the list of links. Take a look at it if you wish. Great program, insane price. I guess at schools some times you get what you pay for and right now I am saying that this is worth every penny.

Closing shop

Have you ever had a day that you were dreading? Then that day comes and nothing happens?

Well this is not one of those days.

I've recently gone back to school to improve my base skills. I have a final today. There is a lot riding on it and I don't feel prepared (not like this hasn't happened before). On top of this, I learned that I was not chosen for the job that I had been hoping for.

Also, as I'm leaving this position to go onto another, I feel that it is a bittersweet parting from this position. I have gotten to know a number of people here and most have treated me well.

I know people where I am going and that will be good, but having to leave one to go to another is never fun unless you really don't like the place you are leaving.

I'm a little sad, but looking forward to the change at the same time.

Transitions

Moving from one job, dwelling, or city to another is never easy.
Within the next 3 weeks I'm planning on doing all of the above.

I have moved 7 times in the last 4 years. This is more than one should. I have never been kicked out of a place, but left for one reason or another (usually a job) that has led me to make sure that my furniture was light.

Some of you may understand this, but when you have heavy furniture and you have help moving and they ask if you are on the ground floor...

There are more positive points this time.

• better pay
• closer to home (less time on the road and less petrol!)
• better work atmosphere

These make one happier to make transitions.